Him Again

He's drunk again tonight.

The house is quiet and dark.

He comes into my room,

Because he knows I'll be awake.

He says he just wants to play a game,

But he's not looking at the X-Box.

The look he's giving me chills me,

And I can't move; my feet are frozen.

He is bigger than me, much bigger,

And I'm afraid of what I know is coming.

He pushes me down onto my bed,

And I shrink away from his touch.

He leans over me, his face so close to mine.

I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

I try to fight him, really I do,

But he's stronger than me, much stronger.

He uses my fear to make me submit.

His hand holds my mouth shut,

Robbing me of more than my voice.

Robbing me of my dignity.

He leaves when he's done,

And I curl in on myself.

I'm a little numb and scared.

Did I make him do this to me?